I had to read through an entire lexicon to properly construct this joke for you. By gum, look at the hoops we jump through to better befuddle you. There was so much good stuff in A-C that I thought about just stopping there, and if you caught me, I could have argued that it was for the sake of alliteration.
Oh, and despite being a few days early, seriously, have a Happy Valentine’s Day. Go shower someone, be it a lover or a scared stranger, with ungodly amounts of affection. And then convince them to read our comics.