Something Afoot

Something Afoot comic
[[Moderately attractive woman, stands next to a couple at a bowling alley. Beautiful tall, big breasted woman, and a short, bald, fat, dirty man without a shirt. Man turned and staring directly at breasts.]] Woman 1: Sweetie! You're gorgeous and successful. Woman 1: I'm sorry, but c'mon, what are you doing with this loser? It just doesn't add up. Woman 1: Something peculiar's afoot. Woman 2: We haven't measured it, but that sounds about right.

2/20/11 12:00AM

Fortunately for me, imbalances in relationships go this way more often than the other. In my case, for vastly different reasons. And anyone like Danny DeVito who’s made a career of being a horrible midget creature is probably grateful for the same thing. Though he could have snagged Rhea Perlman without any bonus powers. Shudder.

Due to increased hits, we’ve become google’s internet authority on odd “nipple” searches. My favorites this week:

  1. “face to face with my nipples part a”: Part b is when things get dirty. Actually dirty, since I’m confident it’s a porn.
  2. “leech on my nipples”: It seems like the sort of thing that might have actually happened to someone. Which is why it’s extra incredible that we’re the top TWO hits for this.
  3. “nigth vision nipples”: Despite the misspelling this search got me genuinely interested in the topic. Are we looking at nipples with night vision goggles or are the nipples themselves capable of seeing in the dark?
  4. “peasant nipples”: When you’re sick of trashy strippers in your porn who better than peasants?

My apologies to our facebook fans who’ve already seen some of that. And if you hadn’t and are patient enough to have read this far, maybe you should sign up to get these (normally) exclusive posts.