Offenders comic
[[outside of squadcar]] Officer A: You know how we got these public lists of local pervs? Officer B: The sex offender registry? Officer A: Why don't we have that for *every* kind of crime? [police officers sitting in squadcar together] Officer B: They tried that in Cincinnati. Officer B: Opened the floodgates to a wave of Ocean's Eleven scenarios. Officer B: If you ask me, way they named them lists, brought it on themselves. [[2 crooks in darkness]] Crook A: Okay, I've contacted our top choices from the Getaway Driver and Confidence Man Databases. Crook B: We already got the Muscle, the Honey Pot, and the Holier-Than-Thou Hacker. What kind of burgler do we want? Crook A: What are the choices? Crook B: Well there's a safecracker a few miles that way, but it says there's a contortionist catburgler named Jimmy couple doors down. Crook A: [[yelling out window]] Hey! Jimmy! Crook A: You want in on a job!? Jimmy: [[in the distance]] Yeah, okay.

4/20/16 6:00AM

I ought not get into the gritty nitties of the abstract distant sympathy I have for child molesters and their condition. It’s better that I let an expert at addressing such sensitive topics with humor, Louis CK, do some explaining for me. If we’re to believe, at all, the rehabilitative qualities of prison against recidivism, things like lists socially ostracizing these people for their entire lives is probably not a healthy way to go about things. I mean, kidnappers and literal murderers of children don’t appear on lists, and it is my understanding that those people also pose a danger to kids.

As much as I love the leisurely conversational tone it evokes, it’s probably not best practice to drink from a coffee mug in a police cruiser. Or any car really, but comparatively, police cars must be more susceptible to the swerving and flipping and crashing and the what have you that you often see in the moving pictures. About the moving police vehicles.

Nipples out,