Diary of a Castle Guard (2/3)

Diary of a Castle Guard (2/3) comic
August 11th Today was my first day on duty. It's a lot more complicated than farming... [[Nigel in oversized chain mail.]] Nigel: Is this gonna shrink in the wash? ...The lack of a traning program certainly didn't help matters... Nigel: What if I need to use the bathroom? Guard: I just go over the edge of the ramparts. Nigel What if I have to..[[interrupted]] Guard: Ramparts. Dung shoveler will get it. Dung Shoveler: Aw, man. ...I was unfamiliar with how to properly use most of the equipment... [[Guard reaching into a boiling cauldron.]] Guard: Soldier! Explain why your boiling pitch is so pleasantly aromatic and... Guard: Orange? Nigel: [[cheese on face, hand in mouth]] You mean this isn't a fondue pot? ..I learned the hard way never to gambol about with a loaded crossbow. Well actually, the dung shovelere learned the hard way... [[Nigel holding crossbow]] Offpanel: Aw, man, me arse! Nigel: Whoops! ...And I could never remember how to work the drawbridge. [[Nigel cranking roped drawbridge control.]] Offpanel: The Duchess hath fallen into the moat! Who darest raise the bridge?! Nigel: My bad, I thought it was: [[italics]]"Clockwise- Not Rise."

4/10/11 2:56AM

The Dung Shoveler’s back for more abuse, and if you ask me, he steals the show. It’s also important to note, the Dung Shoveler’s job is obvious.

Last time, I offered Up to my Nipples brand ***NIPPLES POINTS*** for anyone who could guess what comic we’re imitating. The answer’s Bug. I think Willy’s linked to it before, and whether or not you clicked then, you should now. It’s real good.



4/10/11 6:25PM

In elementary school we used to have these days where the class would go to the library and pick out two books, one to read there for the next 40 minutes and one to take home. Since we only had a short time to read the former variety, it was always a good strategy to get something that didn’t require a lot of investment, something you could flip through and put down, something with awesome pictures. Naturally, the most popular choices were those cross-section books, and my personal favorite was the one about castles (after Star Wars of course, but that one was always already taken). I remember noting the location of something termed “the cess pit,” which i recall being able to figure out involved poop. I figured that they had to empty it out every once in a while before it was filled to the brim. Or maybe they didn’t, and just let a mountain of feces erect in the town square. In any case, I at least used to think that dung shoveler was a job, and I never assumed his position was voluntary.