Diary of a Castle Guard (1/3)

Diary of a Castle Guard (1/3) comic
August 1st Peasant life sucks. Every day it's the same backbreaking and unrewarding work... [[Nigel using hoe on field]] ...The most I have to look forward to is marrying my second cousin. And if I'm lucky, she'll bear at least one non-defective offspring to look after the others. [[Nigel and wife holding hands. One child holding a rope around two retarded children in mudpit]] Wife: Miles, git yer brothers away from that danged mud pit. Y'know thur liable ta drown in it. Miles: Yes, Mama August 5th Yesterday, vikings raided our farm for the third time this month. That's when Dad decided it was time to move to the safety of the nearby castle. [[Viking dragging a beaten villager. Flaming building in background.]] Dad: Ifin I tell ye were my daughter's hidin', will ye let me keep my son and my donkey? Viking: Deal. August 10th To live in the castle, you have to purchase a plot of land from the Duke... [[At castle with overburdened donkey]] Guard: Thine jackass shall be fitting tribute. Dad: How 'bout ye take my son in its stead? Nigel: Dad! ...And so I was conscripted into the Duke's service [[Nigel in a line of recruits, soldier walking by assigning roles.]] Guard: Castle guard. Guard: Castle guard. Guard: Castle guard. Guard: Dung shoveler. Dung Shoveler: Aw, man.

04/06/11 3:28AM

Willy is pursuing the sort of degree that allows him to repurpose our writing sessions for his educational benefit. Our next few strips are all part of such a project. As is commonplace for snooty arts students, Will insisted that we explore a style of writing that we hadn’t yet attempted. Snooty is obviously a relative term here; you can only be so snobbish when writing comic strips and poop jokes. Anyway, I hope you like, and as always, let us know what you think via email or facebook. Also, since they haven’t been offered in a while, double ***NIPPLE POINTS*** to anyone who reads enough webcomics to know whose style we’re ripping off.

Here they are. Your next set of misguided google searches to our site:

  1. “mulholland drive nipple and lesbian dream scene “: It’s not surprising that this search led to our site; I talked about it in the blog. What’s crazy is that the searcher postponed his masturbation for at least twelve minutes to look at our comic. If that’s not internet success, I ask you, what is?
  2. “oprah nipples”: When people searched for “opera nipples” I could convince myself that it wasn’t just a typo, but my greatest fear now has been realized.
  3. “apes on my nipples what do i do”: I’ll tell you what you don’t do, and that’s try to yank the sucker off. Unless you’re in the market for a nipplectomy.