A Very Nipples Christmas Part 4

A Very Nipples Christmas Part 4 comic
[[Little table, plate of cookies and milk]] Narrator: Year after year, under the guise of benevolence, Robin Hood wrested control of the season's hottest items and doled them out at his own capricious discretion. [[Unlit fireplace, 3 stockings hanging]] Narrator: With a front of holly-jolly and very-merry, he reveled in having the joy of children at his velvet-gloved fingertips. But sometimes us adults want those gifts too. [[Stanislav holding huge net, hiding next to fireplace, shadowed]] Stanislav: Enough is enough. Stansilav: The fat man must go down. Stansislav: It's my turn to get a Nerf N-Strike Stampede ECS Blaster. [[Santa kicking in door with WHAM]] [[Quad split double panel]] [[1: Santa grabbing arrow.]] Santa: You'd better watch out. [[2: Stanislav closeup of face and neck, shadow of Santa.]] Stanislav: Santa? Santa: You'd better not cry. [[3:Santa aiming bow and arrow]] Santa: You'd better not shout [[4: Arrow making THUNK noise lodged in Stan's neck]] [[Stan grabbing at arrow]] Santa: I'm telling you why [[View from squinted eyes, barely see santa]] Santa: Santa Claus is going to town. [[Santa crazy angle like from feet, hovering above] Santa: On your ass.

1/02/11 4:32AM

Happy New Year! We here at Up to my Nipples are resolute in making 2011 a year of growth. Please, stick around and help us make it a reality.

The storyline has gone from light-hearted to over-the-top in, like, 2 strips. This one’s got a Dr. McNinja vibe going.

My man Tommy helped come up with some alternate Santa One-liners: “I’m dreaming of a red christmas, just like the one you’ll get to know…in HELL.” “All I want for Christmas is you… dead.” Send in your own, and if they’re amply awesome you’ll gain fame and fortune when we paste them into the next blog post. And nipples points, if you’ve an inclination to amass those sorts of things.



1/02/11 4:32AM

The NERF N-Strike Stampede ECS Blaster is a real thing,
and the actual toy is as absurd as its name implies. It’s so
ridiculous that I can hardly believe it’s a real thing. I think that when NERF first started making big guns, SNL did a fake
commercial for an exaggerated version of one, and the N-Strike was it.
The only things this bad boy’s missing are three scopes mounted one atop
the other, and a secret dart that shoots out the bottom of the handle. In my mind, there’s a NERF arms escalation going on. May the twelve-year-old with the richest parents win.