Humphry’s Name

[[In front of two posters]] Mo: Humphry, I've been thinking. What the hell kind of name is Humphry? Stanislav: It's Humphry's name, sir. [[Aside]] Mo: I mean, MPHR?! . Stanislav: And sometimes Y!? That's a logjam of consonants. Humphry: I'll have you know I come from a tradition of well-respected Humphries. Mo: Name one besides Humphrey Bogart. Humphry: Bogart!? That pot-crazed Hum-fraud sullies the refined elegance of my name with his superfluous vowels. Humphry: [[pointing at poster]] Humphry Knipe, now there's a Humphry a man can stand behind or, in this case, in front of. Mo: Wait a hot second! You're saying it's not a nudie of Tom Wilkinson? Mo: Next you're going to tell me that's not Ron Jeremy. [[pointing in other direction]] [[closeup on Balzac poster with back of heads]] Humphry: Nope, it's Honore [[with accent]] de Balzac, which my limited spanish leads me to believe is the world's greatest name. Mo: And the best sex column advice EVER.

12/5/10 3:00AM

If you care to try for yourself, I find a Jamaican accent really brings out the best parts of his name. Seriously, if that guy were alive today, he’d practically have no choice but to go into porn. Being Ron Jeremy’s 19th-century doppelganger can’t hurt either, assuming the two are identical in all applicable measures. Speaking of genitals, this may be the first time Up to my Nipples has taken a sexual tone, but don’t expect the blue comedy to end here. The upcoming Wednesday release is about penises. Lots and lots of penises.

I suppose as a comic that regularly presents trivia, I should acknowledge that Humphrey Bogart, despite our quote to the contrary, is not documented as having been a stoner. The misconception stems from the use of his surname in hippie culture. Nonetheless, our Humphry’s going to believe what he wants.

-Jesse

P.S. 10 bonus nipples-points to those who prove that they caught the passing literary reference.

12/5/10 3:05AM

For some reason, Humphry Knipe reminds me of my father, even though the two look nothing alike.

For those of you who’ve been clamoring about the poor quality of the art, this is where things start to improve. The framing is better, and my renderings of Humphry Knipe and Honore de Balzac are truly glorious. They were so good, in fact, that you can find them showcased on their respective Wikipedia pages.

I, like you, have no clue what nipples-points are, unless they are the solution to “nipples+cold=?”

-Will

12/7/10 7:01AM

A porn actor reminds Will of his father. You heard it here first.

Horrified,

Jesse

(CANCEL)