Smoodge’s scrawny stick arms do look out of place hoisting up the weight of two grown men, but I promise you, despite their stature, they retain all the strength you’ve come to expect from hippopotami.
If this whole escapade proves anything, it’s that Quakers don’t know a top-notch hippo from a hole in the wall. Sorry ladies, Smoodge is no longer STD free. Another story for his next game of Never Have I Ever.
Usually, the expressions “shit-ton” and “ass-load” really nettle my grundle though neither as much as “fuck-ton”. Yet in this setting they’re surprisingly appropriate, so I’ll let em slide.